Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication by Vanessa Van Edwards

Author:Vanessa Van Edwards
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2022-03-02T00:00:00+00:00

VOCAL POWER CUE #1: How to Sound Confident

“Were you scared to face an audience in the beginning?” asked six-time Emmy award–winning actor Alan Alda of Betty White, the legendary comedian and actress.

“I still get stage fright,” said White.

Alda wonders what happens when she’s nervous. “Your heart beats faster, does something happen to your voice?” asked Alda.

“Yes . . .” and then Betty White forces her voice up a few octaves into a high pitch. “Hellooooo?” she squeaks, “Hello, everybody? I’m so . . . I’m so . . . happy to be here.”

Both Alda and White laugh in recognition.

When we’re nervous or stressed, our voice tends to pitch higher. I call this cue nervous pitch.

Remember our postural expansion cue? When we’re anxious, our body contracts—we tuck our chin in, tense our neck, clench our jaw, cross our arms, slump down, or roll our shoulders in. All this contracting allows less space in our lungs, making it hard to take in air and therefore difficult to project our voice. This is why our voice cracks or gets higher when we’re nervous.

But when we’re confident, we pull our shoulders down and back, puff out our chest, look up and around, and use our arms. This relaxes and expands the muscles we use to speak—our lungs, diaphragm, vocal cords, neck, throat, mouth, and tongue.

Let’s try our own experiment. First, try saying, “I’m happy to be here,” in whatever posture you’re currently in. This is your neutral expression.

Now contract your body and get as small as possible. Cross your arms, tuck your chin in, and clench all your muscles, including your jaw and lips.

Now try saying, “I’m happy to be here.” Does your voice sound small? Try saying it as loud as you can. (Hopefully no one else is around. If someone is, have them join in.)

It’s hard to speak loudly in this coiled, defeated posture, right?

Next open your body up as broadly as possible. Roll your shoulders back, take in a deep breath to expand your lungs, and relax your jaw, lips, shoulders, and neck.

Now say, “I’m happy to be here.” Sound better?

Try to say it as loud as you can. You can go much louder, right?

The more space your body takes up, the more vocal freedom you have to project.

The less space you occupy, the more restricted and limited your vocal confidence, the more nervous you sound, and the harder it is for people to be confident in what you’re saying.

We instinctually mistrust people using nervous pitch. We wonder if we should also be nervous or worry that we can’t trust what’s being said. Nervous pitch can also be a signal of lying. One research team found that participants unknowingly raised the pitch of their voice when they weren’t telling the truth.

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